What are you doing?

I lost my jewel.

What the fuck?

I got a couple more though.

Okay, so, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm good. Why?

Because, um, I'm about to leave for a few hours and...

No, you're not allowed to do that.

I'm going to leave for a few hours. Can you please not tell anyone?

No, I'm going to tell mom. Like, you're in charge.

Mom doesn't want you leaving me here alone, remember? Like, last time?

Yeah, I know that, but you can keep your mouth shut, please.

I mean, maybe.

What do I have to do?

What are you going to go do?

I'm going to a Tinder date. Just a lot.

That's gross.

You're gross.

How long have you been talking to this guy? Like, 15 minutes?

Yes, exactly 15 minutes. And I have to go, like, right now. He's outside waiting.

Does he have a...

Big cock?

I mean, that's what he's telling me. He said that he has a really big dick. He's going to...

Jesus Christ.

...do great things to me, so please just let me go.

I'm going to tell mom that you're a huge slut.

Please don't. Please.

How long are you going to be gone?

Like, an hour and a half.

You have to do something for me, though. Like, you have to, like...

Like what?

I don't know. Like, you have to, like, buy me a video game or something.

Got you. I can do that. If I can't do it, why?

I'm not sure.

I'll figure it out.

Okay. You've got an hour and a half to figure it out. I'll be back.

What if I, like, burn the house down or something?

Don't fucking burn the house down. How old are you? Like...

I mean... I mean, I don't know.

You're not...

I'm just saying.

Come on, dude.

Okay, okay. I'll behave.

I can leave?

Yeah, just... just be... don't be gone too long, because, like, mom will probably be back in a couple hours.

Okay.

Hello. What's up? What are you doing?

I'm... I'm relaxing.

You good? Good time?

How about you? Did you cum, like, a hundred times?

No. He actually fucking jerked off before I got there, so...

All over with now, and I was very excited.

Wait, what happened?

He fucking winked before I got there, and now he...

He can't get it up.

He couldn't get up? So you didn't have sex?

No. I did not. I'm sorry.

What the fuck?

That's what you get.

I know.

For breaking the rules.

I know.

What should I do instead?

Read the Bible or something. Good.

You could be, like, a good influence for once.

Aren't you, like... aren't you, like, horny, though?

I don't know. Maybe.

Fuck. I mean, yes.

I didn't get any dick. I mean, he didn't... he couldn't get it up.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm horny as fuck, but I can't.

What am I supposed to do?

Go on Tinder?

Find another person? Like, no.

I mean, yeah, there's probably, like, 800 guys in your inbox, I mean...

I don't care.

You could just have sex with me.

Mmm. Yeah, you're fucking weird, huh?

Why not? Is it that crazy?

Yeah, it's kind of fucking crazy. It is.

I mean, I'm just your stepbrother. It's, like, I have a penis, you know?

You are my stepbrother, and you do have a penis, but it's probably, like, this fucking big, and, like, I don't...

You won't last that long.

Fuck.

You won't last that long.

It's, like, kind of weird shit, too. It looks like a curly fry.

Oh, you're gonna help me out with it?

No, it's not. It's, like, fine. It's, like, a decent-sized penis. It's, like, pretty normal, I think.

Are you sure? Can I check it out?

Yeah.

Okay. Let me see. Aw, damn, you're right. You're right, bud.

It's not hard all the way.

How can I help? If I do this, will... do I not have to buy the video game?

I mean, yeah, it's okay.

Okay, cool.

You fucking...

Yeah, I guess.

Your boobs are so big.

Do you just, like, look at them all the time?

Yeah.

Fucking weird.

You're my little brother. I don't know why you have requests.

Hey, listen, I'm, like, actually, if you think about it, I'm helping you out.

See, it's not that bad, right?

You're a little bigger, yeah.

Sorry. We're coming in, like, two minutes.

Oh, my God.

That's right. That's okay.

Fucking butter.

You're just really hot.

Mm-hmm.

You're not gonna have sex with me, okay?

Okay, no.

This is maybe a one-time thing.

Like, once in a while at least, right?

Maybe. It was good enough.

Mm-hmm.