Hi, Grandpa.

He sucks.

What the fuck I'm doing in here?

Fuck off on all.

Teddy Markle, piece of shit.

I just don't even know why I live here anymore.

Excuse me.

So stupid.

Excuse me, sir.

Hi.

Who are you?

I'm Elena.

My PO told me that you're...

Did he tell you that I'm coming over?

PO? What's PO?

Parole officer.

Parole officer?

I serve my senior citizen program that I'm doing.

Oh.

He said that you're...

That you need to ask him today.

I don't really remember what that is, but...

Well, as you'll hear,

my remote fell off the couch

and it slid right under there.

Could you possibly...

Would you mind if you can just...

That's it. Good idea.

Perfect.

You might have to bend a little.

A little bit more.

Yeah, like maybe even down.

Like, get right down.

Oh, yeah, I'm not seeing it.

Deeper, lower.

Yeah, I'm not seeing it, sir.

Really? Are you sure?

Yeah.

Really?

It's not...

I could have sworn...

Oh.

Oh.

I was sitting on it.

I guess it fell down and I...

I've got a bad memory, so...

But anyway, so you're here to help me, is that it?

Yes.

Whatever I need.

Okay.

Anything you can do for me and that kind of thing.

Good.

Do I have to sign off on some stuff?

Yeah, at the end, just saying that I helped you out today.

A little pearl.

Oh, okay.

So, well, it's my lunchtime and I'm kind of a little bit peckish.

Could you go make me a sandwich in the kitchen?

I don't think...

I don't think...

No, it's not cooking.

It's just a couple of bits of bread, a bit of salami.

I don't know how to make sandwich.

Oh, okay.

Well, then we're good then.

If you could go make me that sandwich,

then I could not be so hungry because I can't...

Look, look at that.

That's really not good.

I can't sign until my blood sugar's at the right level

and, you know, I really could use that sandwich to...

If you want me to fill that form, of course.

I mean, if you wouldn't mind.

And lots of mayonnaise.

I can do that.

I just don't have my food in there.

I'm not worried about that.

That's fine.

I just got to eat.

Otherwise, I can't sign for you, you know.

But I can come and help.

I mean, at least...

Show me.

Show you where things are.

I don't think about...

Sorry, I'm just not very good.

There's a few bits that I can't really reach.

Can you open the fridge?

That's it.

Yeah.

Oh, the bottom?

At the bottom shelf?

That's it.

If you bend...

That's it.

Yeah, it's...

Oh, my God.

What am I looking for?

The meat thing.

Oh, on here.

Yes, the meat thing.

Exactly.

And then what else?

Oh, do you want to get the mayo?

See there?

That's it.

Mayonnaise.

That's it.

And there's that.

And...

What else do you like to do?

Sandwiches.

Oh, the buns.

Somehow.

I don't know who's put them up there, but...

Okay.

Yeah, just reach.

Oh.

Okay.

I'll have to get up there.

Okay.

Cool.

Right.

I'm trying to think where I put my...

Hold on.

Can you look in the...

See if there's...

In there, there's...

I can't remember what knife and fork are.

I have a very bad memory.

Oh, there you are.

First time you found them.

Fabulous.

Fabulous.

Fork, you said, too?

Yeah, maybe I'm going to have to cut it.

Are you using a knife?

Yeah, I'm going to have to use a knife.

And plates.

Where are the plates?

I don't know where my plates are.

I'm just eating things like a big towel.

Try that one there.

Maybe...

Yeah, maybe...

No, no, it's not that one.

Try that one.

Try that one.

Okay.

Well, it's not in here.

No, try the next one then.

I've got a bad memory, so...

Got him.

There you go.

You're right the second time.

Cool.

Okay.

Now we're cooking.

So to speak.

No, I'm not going to interrupt you.

You're doing this very well.

And I'll just hang that and watch you do your magic.

Now grab a piece of the meat.

Okay.

And if I don't have a nice bit of juicy meat, there you go.

Just slap it on there.

There you go.

Like that?

No, just flat.

There you go.

That's it.

And now for some mayonnaise.

So, yeah.

So give it...

Give it a little double.

There you go.

Yeah, that's it.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Just a little...

Yeah, that's it.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Don't stop.

More.

Like that?

That's it.

Now go across the other way.

There you go.

There you go.

Yes.

More, more, more.

More.

Squeeze it.

More.

Okay.

More.

Is this okay for your heart?

No, I don't want to hurt my heart.

I haven't got any...

That's it.

Keep going.

Yeah.

More.

I think that's fine.

No, no, no, no, no.

You can never...

Never have enough...

Never have enough mayo.

Never have enough mayo.

That's it.

Just...

Oh, that's perfect.

Look at that.

That's poetry of motion.

Okay.

So slap on the end of the bun so we can finalize this creation of magic.

Oh, give it a slap.

Oh.

Very fucking gorgeous.

Oh, my God.

That just...

Oh, do you like that?

Look at that.

Look at that.

Look how sexy that is.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, you want to come help me eat this?

No, come on.

I can do it.

Come on.

Come with me.

Come on.

It's like...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Come and help me eat my sandwich.

I forgot how much you need.

Take a seat.

Take a seat.

Well, it's not going to suck itself.

Excuse me?

Well, you want me to fill your form, right?

Yeah.

Right.

You see?

So come, little lady, and I'll fill your form out.

And we're all happy.

And we all go home.

Don't be too...

Because I'll be finished my sandwich, and then I won't really want to...

I don't want to do it.

Come on.

Let me just give you some space.

Come on, young lady.

Fill the form, or I don't fill the form.

Come on.

Want some sandwich?

Mm-hmm.

Well, will you put this in your mouth instead, then?

Come on.

Get my thumb and...

I'll sign my form.

Of course.

Why wouldn't I?

You've done something for me.

I'll do something for you.

It's kind of, you know, so good.

Mm-hmm.

That's it.

Oh, do you want some mayo on there?

No.

Okay.

Let's check.

Oh, you're making an old man really fucking happy right now.

You have no idea.

Seriously.

Yeah, that's it.

You're having fun, aren't you?

So good.

Elena, you said your name was, wasn't it?

Right?

Oh, my God, Elena.

I'm going to sign your form, like, 30 times.

Oh, Elena, that is...

You are special.

Oh, yes.

You can use your hand as well, you know.

You don't have to...

There you go.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's it.

You can go to town with me.

I won't break, I promise.

Oh, God.

I've got a pacemaker, so I ain't going to die.

Just keep sucking it.

Oh, God.

I almost bit a sandwich in your mouth with my cock.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

I'm going to get in your mouth, baby.

That's a stroke.

Oh, yes.

You jabbed my cock.

Oh, that's so...

Oh, yeah.

That's it.

Keep sucking that.

Stop sucking that.

Oh, you're doing so good.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, God.

Am I going to sing your praises to your parents?

Oh, you've made my day so much better.

You don't have to stop.

You just keep going.

Don't worry about me.

Oh.

There he goes.

Oh.

Aren't you supposed to come faster sometimes?

Oh, I can come.

It takes me days.

Seriously.

It's one thing about getting older.

It just takes forever to come.

It's great.

Yeah.

I know those young kids come and get a flick of a dime.

Not me.

You can do it.

I can do it for hours.

You know what?

I've got a little bit of tidying up in the bedroom you could help me with.

Do you want to give me a quick hand with that?

Yeah.

Yeah?

I'm good at cleaning.

Okay.

Let's go do that.

There you go.

Okay.

So, you see this bed is a little bit of a mess, right?

I kind of need it, like, all the covers cleaned and all that.

But before we do that, I was thinking, could you come and get one for me?

Can you come and get my balls a little bit of a clean up before you suck my dick?

As long as you sign that paper.

Darling, I'll sign it.

I'll even sign a bunch of them for later.

If you want.

Okay.

That is.

Please, take some clothes off later if you're comfortable.

Because I'd like to see more of that in the body of yours.

Mmm.

It's your pretty little thing.

Gorgeous.

Mmm.

There you go.

Come on down.

Come and join me on the bed.

I knew it was very...

Oh, yeah.

I'm addicted.

I'm addicted.

I'm addicted.

I'm addicted.

I'm addicted.

I'm addicted.

Oh, you're not?

I'm addicted.

Oh, yeah.

My dick was in your mouth.

That's right.

Let me do that again.

We should never have talked about it.

It's amazing how it does that.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

But, you know, you kind of make me get a little bit of a sprit in my step.

Let's do that beautiful youthfulness with this gorgeous sixty-potty.

Let me get him out of practice.

Okay.

Oh, just a little bit of that.

That's good.

Oh, fuck your telemarkers.

Fuck off.

You're making this old man very uncomfortable.

Fuck you.

Sophie.

That's it over there.

Oh, that's theาย.

That's it?

very happy oh god yeah oh my god baby i'm good at that oh yes oh someone wants something inside

them that's good that's so good you made this old man very happy so uh hi grandpa