Maria, welcome to Porticoil. How are you doing today?

Good, and you?

Doing good.

Alright, how old were you when you first sucked a dick?

I was 15.

How old are you now?

25.

Alright, so in the span of 10 years, how many dicks do you think you had enter your mouth?

I don't know.

If you had to just ballpark?

Ballpark? Probably like 10, 11, I think.

10 or 11?

I think.

That's like one dick a year.

Hey, don't get around.

That seems like a very, very modest number.

Now the first time you stuck a dick in your mouth, what were you doing?

Like how did you all of a sudden think, I'm going to put this dick in my mouth?

I was told to.

It was your boyfriend?

Yeah.

Alright, now where did he come?

Uh, in the side of me.

Did you lose your virginity to him?

Yes, to him.

At the same time? Okay.

So where's your favorite place for guys?

Inside of me.

Why is that?

I just like it.

There's no specific reason?

No.

Does penis, circumcised, does that matter to you?

Not really, as long as they know how to take care of it.

So as long as it's clean?

As long as it's clean.

It doesn't matter?

It doesn't matter.

Okay.

What about pubes?

Not really.

As long as it's not like, damn.

What's your, like, ideal perfect penis?

Like, well not shaved, but like groomed.

And have you ever had a penis?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Have you ever sucked a dick in public.

In public, but in a car, yes.

Okay.

I don't know if that counts.

Have you ever had sex in public?

What, in public?

Yeah.

People on the sides.

Who was driving all your own sex?

My boyfriend.

Was that the driver?

Yeah.

Interesting.

How did that fucking work?

I got on top of him.

Was it nighttime or daytime?

It was a night.

It was like six, seven o'clock at night, til the light was still out.

You're the first person ever, you know.

With that, at least, I'm definitely trying.

It's not that hard.

Oh, I can imagine.

I'm sure you can figure it out.

Yeah.

It was a long drive, so...

Road trip?

Road trip sex?

Yes.

Okay.

We're coming from California.

What do you do for fun?

If you're, you know, everyday life.

My everyday life?

Actually, hmm, I like to go out.

And do what?

Like drinking?

Drinking, having fun with friends.

Gotcha.

What's your favorite type of drink?

I like to take shots.

I'm a shopper.

Alright, what's your favorite type of shot?

I like to take Pocanas.

I have no idea what that is.

It's a Mexican drink.

What's it kind of taste like?

It's like, uh, I don't know how to explain it.

It's like, um, thick enough type of deal.

It's very smooth when it goes down.

Okay.

It's not like hard.

Yeah.

Not like a typical turn?

Yeah, no.

Is it sweeter, or is it like more on the, like the higher alcohol content?

The higher alcohol.

Well, that's pretty cool, then.

It's tasting like main things, like tequila.

Or has anybody ever rated your blowjob?

So no one's ever told you, like, your blowjob is like?

It's pretty good, because.

That's some, that's a pretty big, you know, pretty big words right there.

Yeah.

I kind of want to, you know, see what that's like.

I kind of want to call you out right now.